The end of the world as we know it

I decided to treat myself at lunch today and bought a Hershey bar for desert. Just your average, everyday, little brown labeled Hershey bar.

I don’t know why, but I was looking at the wrapper when I went to open it, and I had a vision of the end of human civilization coming. I cannot comment on what I saw, because mere words cannot describe the horror.

What triggered this vision of Doom you asked? How would eating a candy bar cause visions of the Apocalypse? I will tell you. I went to peel the wrapper off my little lunchtime vice, and there on the end of the wrapper, were directions to open the wrapper. Not just “tear here” or “open this end”. These were explicit directions of how to fold the center flap over, and where to hold the candy bar in order to properly open the delicacy.

I could not believe it. How pathetic or dumbed down as a society have we become when we need labels on candy bars?

Next thing you know, there will be warning labels like “Warning, excessive daily consumption will cause unexpected weight gain.” How about “Warning, consumption of chocolate may decrease sex drive in women.”

Perhaps, “Warning, contents not under pressure, and not hot, but be sure to chew carefully so you don’t choke.”

Well, I have to go get ready for the lawsuit I am filing because of the paper cut I got from the wrapper.


Peace